Life and it's Flip Flops

My goodness. It's been quite a while since I last wrote. I feel that I should make a list of things that have changed in life since my trip to Atlanta (which was the last time I wrote). 

1) I graduated nursing school - finally
2) I got started on my new/last tattoo after a year of deliberating what and who - it's beautiful and I can't wait to finish it!
3) Bought a brand new 2014 Subaru Forester - Rosie - LOVE it
4) Saw my best friend and his brother who bought my old truck, JB - back to AZ for JB
5) Ruthie, my cousin who I was visiting in ATL passed away on Memorial Day - memory eternal...<3 I miss you every day. 
6) Got to go to church camp and see my nieces and nephews - AMAZING day - can't wait til next year
7) Found out my doctor whom I've worked for for many years was moving fo KC - very sad
8) Got to go to Colorado for a wonderful and much needed vacation - SOOO ready to go back
9) My doctor left 
10) I made the decision to start my own business with Arbonne International - CALL ME TO BOOK A PARTY OR A PRIVATE CONSULTATION/COFFEE TIME WITH ME! www.Arbonne.com

I suppose that's about it. But really there's so much more that can be added in between the lines. Some good - some bad - lots of happy - lots of sad. That's life though, right? We rise and fall and we go to sleep at night, nshallah, wake to do it all over again in the morning. 

I've really had to work on patience this summer. Patience with the damn board of nursing  The limbo of not knowing where I want to work - stay here - look elsewhere. And most importantly, learning to LET IT GO, for goodness sake, and just let life happen. I think to an extent, we all have control issues. LORD KNOWS I do. We like to know what's going to happen next. Where we'll be living. Where we'll be working. Will we have enough money to pay all the bills. We want to feel like we 'have a say' in whatever happens to us. But really, in most events, at least for me, there is so very little, if anything, I can do to create or change an outcome. But alas, I try my damnedest to make things work my way. Earth to me...that rarely happens. 

That being said, letting go of that control is terrifying. It's living with the thought that someone or something else will be the one determining where my life goes. I don't like that. I'm told I worry too much. I stress too much. I over-react too much. But it all goes back to that feeling of being in control. And living with the comfort of NOT being in control is rough. I'm working on it. I think most of the time - as of late - I've been pretty good. I've definitely blown my top a few times this summer (thank you, board of nursing). But channeling Paul McCartney - LET IT BE. I'm trying.

to be continued... 

Yoga - again

So I've already written about Yoga once.  But alas, I shall do it again.  When I talked about it earlier in the year, February, I think, I was attending a few different places when I could.  The two places are The Yoga room on Brookside and Salt Yoga in Utica Square.  I still really like and support both of those establishments.  However being a pseudo-St. John Employee, I got a membership at the Health Plaza and guess what...now I go to Yoga there.

For me the only downside is still MY limited schedule; work/school/crazy late nights/no free-time.  So really the only class I can go to is still the 0630 class.  But that's ok.  Particularly the 0630 class on Wednesday.  It's very relaxed (dur, it's Yoga) and laid back.  There are normally only 3 of us as well as the instructor.  Her name is Sara.  She is wonderful.  I was a little skeptical at first, quite honestly.  Her voice is not calming or soothing like Tom at TYR or Angyl at Salt.  She doesn't continually remind you to use your yogic breath (in and out thru nose).  But she will make sure you're practicing and doing your poses correctly.  It does me no good to be "bendy" as she calls me, if you're not doing what the pose is trying to accomplish.  So she'll come over to you (me, or the other guys (2 older gentlemen)) and re-position us so that we are more correctly doing our pose. And that, I really appreciate.

It's funny, one of the older gents in our class really likes me being there.  He says I 'inspire' him.  Take that as you may.  Sara always uses me to demonstrate a new pose or how to do a partner-pose.  She knows I'm 'bendy' enough but also (mostly) strong enough to do it.

A few weeks ago we were doing simple bridge.  Now to me, growing up gymnastic-ing, a back bend and a bridge were synonymous.  Lay on your back, feet planted, hand next to your ears, and push up, arching your back and creating an inverted U shape.  So in Yoga a bridge is much simpler than that, but still a great post to learn and do correctly.  I'll put a picture down below.  Anywho, when we do bridge, we always have the option of going into full "Wheel" or back bend, as I'd call it.  SO of course I'll give it a whirl.  Well let me tell you, I'm not near as bendy or strong as I was when I was 13.  Perhaps it's the fact that I don't use many of those muscles that often or that my 32 year old self weighs a touch more than my 13 year old self.  But who's counting. Anywho, I can still do a respectable (inspirational?) back bend.  But Sara wants me to be able to straighten my arms.  Well, my silly shoulders won't allow it.  So we're working on it.

This past Wednesday she taught me a really good way to practice my Wheel and work on those straight arms and shoulder strength   It was brilliant.  I really like that she'll stay over late in class to work with me if there are any certain poses I really want to practice   She loves to help too.  At the and of each class, post-nameste, she offers additional instruction.  Normally I'll take her up on it.  So anywho, to help with my wheel, she had me lay flat on my back and and she stood above my head.  She had me grasp her ankles with my hands and use her body as leverage to straighten up.  It was amazing! I was able to hold the pose longer and extend my shoulders out much more.  I'll tackle that damn thing sooner or later!

Alas, I love yoga. 

Wheel (Above)

Bridge (Below)

Punography (borrowed funny-punnies)

Punography:  

·I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

·When chemists die, they barium.

·Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

·How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

·I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

·This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

·I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

·I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

·They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

·A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

·PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

·Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

·Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

·The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

·The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.

·Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

·When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

·I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·Broken pencils are pointless.

·What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

·England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

·I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

·I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·Velcro - what a rip off!

·Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

·Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

·Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

·I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.    

Diary of a Mad Black Kitty

Just as background info, I wrote this from my kitty, Halo's perspective back in May of 2011.  Just found it and re-read it, pretty funny :)  

Diary of a Mad Black Kitty

By Halo Elisabeth Teaganov the Sooner Cat

Dear Diary,

Today is Tuesday May 24, 2011.  I would like to discuss the events of my day.  First I got up at 6am or shortly before, as I do daily.  I gently roused my parents with a gently lullaby of mews and love pats.  Then 45 minutes later that strange noise making device went off and my father got up.  Why they don’t get up when I try to wake them is beyond me.  Hello, get up when I do!!!  Alas, I’ll continue my daily attempts and check back in with you.  Anywho, the ‘rents were discussing leaving those slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers (the dogs) inside today as there was a chance of storms.  They did. 

So fast-forward to midday and I’m watching Young & the Restless and enjoying a nice lunch of Blue Buffalo lamb crunch.  They keep interrupting my show with weather updates.  AND they blocked half of the dad-gum screen with a weather map.  Um hello, not like ANYONE CARES!! The only ones watching TV right now are housewives, housecats, and jobless folk.  Whatevs…pick your battles, Halo…pick your battles.  So, it would seem that there were actually pretty bad storms brewing and that got be concerned about my home town of Norman and my friends and family there.  (“The SOONER cat” is not coincidence, I was born in Norman.)   I know my Aunt Shelly is a meteorologist, so I’m sure she’s paying attention to the weather.

Fast forward to parents-get-home-from-work-time.  My dad gets home, locks me in the bedroom, and then lets out the slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers so they can run around like the idiots they are.  (Have I mentioned that the one they call “Normandie” tries to eat me at every chance!?  I’ve heard my parents tell stories of how she catches baby rabbits and tortures them.  Yeah, nice choice of companion, Mom and Dad).  Anywho, where was I…dad’s home, I’m locked away, mongrels running in the back yard, right.  Shortly thereafter my mother gets home.  I hear the TV on in the living room.  I hear strange noises as if they are taking items into another room.  I wonder to myself, are they preparing that ‘safe room’ I heard Trav talk about whilst I was trying to watch Y&R?  Guess what, YES. 

Apparently they had stuffed the small bathroom with blankets, sleeping bags, pillows, jackets, a radio and a flash light.  Just add a tent and they could have camped out in there.  So all that stuff is stowed away in the bathroom, mongrels running around, I’m locking away, parents watching the news.   I hafta pee too, btw.  Neither here nor there.  I suppose the weather was getting worrisome because some strange and annoying sound began outside our windows.  I didn’t think much of it, honestly.  I can’t count on both paws how many times I’ve heard those sounds and nothing happens.  Cry wolf much?  BUT this time my parents thought we’d take it seriously as my Aunt Shelly told us to.  LITTLE DID I KNOW that meant putting me in my horrid kitty prison. 

P.S. sometimes I think they think I’m stupid.  Um, I heard the zippers rattle on that prison cage.  So I quickly proceed to scamper under the bed.  As the bed is huge, I thought to myself, even his gargantuan California condor wingspan can’t reach me there.  Even if you try to coerce me with my favorite chasey toy…I know what’s next…DOCTOR.  P.S. again, they found me.  I really need to start brainstorming for a better hideout.  FB me with suggestions.  Ok, so I love my parents, but come on!  A prison cell and a doctor’s appointment when there are storms all over?!?  If I had known what was REALLY next, I would have taken the doctor’s appointment. 

They lock and zip me in, my mom picked up my transportable prison cell and put it over her shoulder.  Then she opened the door and proceeded to the living room.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw those slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers blankly staring out the back door.  Any who did I mention those mongrels were INSIDE?  My mother, who loves me, who feeds me, who holds me, carried me thru the room with naught but this fabric prison cell to protect me for the snarling jaws of puppydom?  Luckily since I stayed silent as a mouse (like the mouse reference, since I’m a cat?), those barking idiots didn’t even know I was being transported.  Honestly, what goes thru their minds, I wonder?  Air? 

After what seemed like an hour, in actually it was more like 15 seconds, I reach my final destination.  Wait for it…the bathroom floor surrounded by and indoor-campground-gone-wrong?  Um did they ASK me if I wanted to be in my unjust prison cell, on the floor, next to the toilet?  That’s not the least of it!  Those furry mongrels only had to have their leashes put on.  Um, mom, dad, HOW exactly is a leash going to protect them from a tornado?  On second thought, leashes are great, keep up the grand ideas… So I’m waiting in the bathroom campsite, all alone, surrounded by pillows and blankets.  Did I mention they had a bike helmet in there?  Um, nice but I ain’t wearin it folks.  BTW, Ma, the sirens stopped a while ago, why am I here?

This scenario lasted for probably an hour, in real time.  I was in the bathroom, alone, dogs on leashes running amuck like always, parents glued to the TV watching the weather.  Did anyone ever come check on me, sit with me?  NO.  They counseled me from afar, ‘hold on, Kitty’ and ‘it’s almost over’ and ‘Halo, its ok’.  Well it was not ok with me.  Cold floor, toilet-side view, prison cell, no company, did I mention toilet?? 

In conclusion, dear diary, I appreciate the effort my parents put into my safety this evening.  As I am writing this after the storms went thru, we are all ok.  Heavy rains, moderate winds, but no hail or damage.  Right after it was all thru, the mongrels went back outside to gather all possible mud and water.  Don’t they know I have to live in this house too!?  And, oh yeah, I WAS HERE FIRST.  A little courtesy would be appreciated, that’s all I ask.

Anywho, it’s about 11:45pm, my mom is giving me the evil get-off-the-computer eye.  Plus, I’ve got to get to bed as I’ll be attempting to wake the ‘rents shortly and in the morning.  I’ll update you if there are any other weather phenomenons that warrant the repeat of this evening of kitty imprisonmental horror.   

PEACE and good night

~Halo

Happy (W)Easter

Today millions upon millions of Christian faithful celebrated the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior and Messiah.  Now of course, I and my elect do not celebrate Easter quite yet, or as we in the East call it, Pascha.  There are many historical arguments as to the date and time Easter is figured and it's calculations. Most Christians and the general public as a whole know that the 'actual' date of both Christmas and Easter did not really occur the date on which we celebrate them, they are merely a landing spot for the celebration itself.  (This is how the East figures the date of Easter: http://www.antiochian.org/node/17394 and here are two other good articles: http://www.economist.com/blogs/economist-explains/2013/03/economist-explains-why-easter-moves-around#comments,  http://www.factmonster.com/spot/easter1.html).

Now to my point.  I don't know if it's just me or if this happens to any of you as well, I tend to have the best and most wonderful and profound things to say and write whilst I'm in one of two rather inconvenient places: 1) in bed as I'm falling asleep and 2) in the shower.  Obviously my computer does not follow me to either location, thus I must write down only what I recall.  I do often wish I had a voice recorder to capture those brief moments of brilliance before they scatter to the four winds in the oblivion of my mind from whence they came... Alas this same scenario happened for me this evening...in the shower.  So I am capturing what I can retrieve from my quickly failing memory bank. 

As I was sitting on the couch this evening watching, for the first time, "The Bible" on The History Channel, the scene was the following: the whipping, the scourging, the deliverance of Jesus to the Jews, Pilate washing his hands, and the fearful walk to Golgotha and all the events that followed.  The show was tasteful, not too overly dramatic for shock value, but showed the facts as they happened. Simon of Cyrene came to the aid of Jesus to help carry His burden to the Place of the Skull.  Mary, John, and the other Mary were also depicted, screaming and crying and pleading for His release.  Proclaiming His righteousness and innocence.  Jesus was nailed to the cross.  A plaque was placed above His head, mockingly reading, "This is Jesus, King of the Jews."  At the hour of His death, He lifted His head one last time and spoke some of the most iconic words ever uttered, "It is finished. Into Your Hands, Father, I commend My Spirit," And He bowed His head and was gone.  Most/many of us could quote these lines.  Many of us know this most beloved story by heart.  

Now mind you, once again, these are MY opinions and feelings on the topic.  Something that has always been a big deal to me, today I came to the realization, is not a big deal at all.  This was my epiphany today.  This was the huge deal I realized in the shower after watching these scenes on the History Channel.  It may be quite foreign for many, but being Orthodox, and very proudly so, the date of Easter to me has always been a big deal to me.  I've always gotten somewhat defensive of fasting, our Lenten season, and our figuring of Easter as the Right way.  But what I realized today is the 'date' of Easter doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter who celebrates it when.  It doesn't matter if the East or the West is 'right'.  (Now many of you may be totally bewildered that there is such a thing as more than one date for Christmas and Easter, but there are...Julian vs. Gregorian calendars, you may look that up, if you like.)  But today, I realized all that is beside the point.  What matters is that it happened, not WHEN it happend.  IT happened.  

Easter isn't only about the mocking, the whipping, the Crucifixion; it's about the Resurrection.  All those things had to take place in order for the prophecies to be fulfilled.  But criminals and evil doers were crucified all the time.  They were beaten and hung on a cross to die a most agonizing death.  But here's the difference, they all died, but He rose, defeating death for all mankind.  That's not to say that it is not important that those events happened to Jesus, but it IS to say that all that would have been for not without the Resurrection.  That is why this Man was special.  HE rose.  He was the Son of God, the Son of Man, the Savior of the World.  We are saved by His Life, Death, and Resurrection.  It is this that is what is important to us.  It is this and what it means to us that matters.  Not a date. 

I was thinking on all this in the shower and a movie quote came into my head.  Bill Pullman as President Whitmore said in 1996's Independence Day a most famous line, "We will not go quietly into the night, we will not vanish without a fight.  We're going to live on, we're going to survive. Today we celebrate our Independence Day."  Well whoda thunk that by Christ's Resurrection, this line would strike me.  But if you think about it, Easter, Pascha IS OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!  It is our freedom from the bonds of death.  Christ rose again, He conquered the conqueror of life, death.  We are now free and will join Him again one day in Paradise.  This, brothers and sisters, is the great miracle and the overall point of Pascha.  He died for our sins and the sins of all mankind, so that we could partake in the life eternal that is with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  This is the help of the helpless, the hope of the hopeless.  This is the answer to deaths dominion over us.  Life.  The reality of the Resurrected Life that we are all invited to.  All that is asked of us it that we too, take up our cross, acknowledge our shortcomings, our burdens, our difficult times, and follow Him.  As the Father sent Him, He now sends us to be fishers of men.  

I wish you all, by brothers and sisters in the East and the West, a most blessed and glorious Easter/Pascha, no matter when your prescribed calendar says it will fall.  For truly Christ is Risen from the dead once and for all time. He has trampled down death by death and given life to those who had fallen asleep.  Blessings to you all.  

Eric Simpson's Hell And God's Love: An Alternative, Orthodox View

Common depictions of the Christian doctrine of hell, perhaps borrowing images from classic literature and Dante, portray it as a place of literal fire, where tortured souls repose in anguish, a vision much used by itinerant evangelists and manipulative preachers.

A further degradation of this cartoon vision finds human souls not only suffering extreme torture, but prodded by red devils with tiny horns, cloven hoofs for feet, spiraling tails, and pitchforks at hand, a caricature used to both trivialize the concept as well as mock the very idea of hell.

In the Revelation of John, we discover a lake of fire, prepared for the devil and his angels, as an abode of punishment, as well as a bottomless abyss. Jesus himself, of course, named hell as the place where the worm doesn't die and the fire is never quenched, but he spoke of eternal darkness as well, eternal destruction and eternal death.

Such descriptions are at best figurative, much like other parts of the Bible where, for instance, God is described as a hen brooding over her chicks (God isn't literally a fowl.) Rather, it seems apparent that according to the teachings of the ancient Church, the non-literal descriptions of hell that appear in Scripture and elsewhere pertain to fundamental qualities of a disposition of being, not one defined primarily as punishment, but of death.

Strains of western Catholicism and Protestantism have fundamentally defined death as legal punishment, an expression of God's wrath. Death is entrenched within a judicial context; it is a sentence for sin. God is angry, according to the western view, and Christ's merit applied to us satisfies his anger, so He dies as a sacrifice to appease the Father.

A gross oversimplification and popular notion of the historical understanding of death in the West paints an ugly and frightening picture for those who take it seriously. Good people or redeemed people who have faith in Jesus, whom the Father punishes in our place through an expression of divine anger, overcome the punishment of death and go to heaven; unrepentant sinners suffer their just punishment and are cast howling into hell for their evil deeds. Death is the judicial sentence of all humanity; some overcome it totally through an abstract and forensic transaction, others do not.

The Greek fathers and the eastern churches historically do not share the western legal emphasis, nor the consequent view of atonement. The fathers of the church teach that humanity is the author of death, not God. St. Basil in the fourth century writes, "God did not create death, but we brought it upon ourselves." Death is the result of sin; it is the final product that we, apart from God, create for ourselves through the power of the human will, that also ensnares and condemns us.

For the Christian Orthodox, death is much more than what happens when the lungs quit, the heart fails or the brain stops functioning; it is also the source of corruption and spiritual myopia, producing deep-rooted fear and a whole legion of consequent disorders, maladies, pathologies and suffering. The separation of the spirit and the body at the end of physical life is the culmination of a long period of smaller separations; existence is filled with estrangement. Death is embodied by division and the truncation of significance. As the late Orthodox theologian Alexander Schmemann writes:

When we see the world as an end in itself, everything in itself becomes a value and consequently loses all value, because only in God is found the meaning (value) of everything, and the world is meaningful only when it is the "sacrament" of God's presence. Things treated merely as things in themselves destroy themselves because only in God have they any life. The world of nature, cut off from the source of life, is a dying world. For one who thinks food in itself is the source of life, eating is communion with the dying world, it is communion with death. Food itself is dead, it is life that has died and it must be kept in refrigerators like a corpse.

It is possible to envision death, defined in this way, as at least tolerable, but if we posit the reality of redemption, that is, from a certain perspective, the added imposition of the presence of infinite and divine personality figuratively signified by fire, death then takes on a further dimension. Death doesn't dissolve away into nothingness, but energized by the presence of creative, personal and divine love, it becomes a separation fixed in an eternal position. Death is transmuted into bitter torment and despair.

As St. Symeon the New Theologian writes:

God is fire and when He came into the world, and became man, He sent fire on the earth, as He Himself says; this fire turns about searching to find material -- that is a disposition and an intention that is good -- to fall into and to kindle; and for those in whom this fire will ignite, it becomes a great flame, which reaches Heaven. ... [T]his flame at first purifies us from the pollution of passions and then it becomes in us food and drink and light and joy, and renders us light ourselves because we participate in His light. (Discourse 78)

The same fire, the love of God, that ignites in the hearts of the faithful transmutes in the experience of those who reject it into the fire of hell; it purifies the former, but burns the latter, per St. Isaac the Syrian:

It is totally false to think that the sinners in hell are deprived of God's love. Love is a child of the knowledge of truth, and is unquestionably given commonly to all. But love's power acts in two ways: it torments sinners, while at the same time it delights those who have lived in accord with it. (Homily 84)

Hell in this view is understood as the presence of God experienced by a person who, through the use of free will, rejects divine love. He is tortured by the love of God, tormented by being in the eternal presence of God without being in communion with God. God's love is the fire that is never quenched, and the disposition and suffering of the soul in the presence of God who rejects him is the worm that does not die. Whether one experiences the presence of love as heaven or hell is entirely dependent on how he has resolved his own soul to be disposed towards God, whether communion or separation, love or hatred, acceptance or rejection.

Hell, then, is not primarily a place where God sends people in his wrath, or where God displays anger, but rather, it is the love of God, experienced by one who is not in communion with him. The figurative, spiritual fire of God's love is transcendent joy to the person purified and transfigured by it through communion in the body of Christ, but bottomless despair and suffering to the person who rejects it, and chooses to remain in communion with death.

Bread Pudding Recipe | Simply Recipes

Bread Pudding Recipe | Simply Recipes

Oh drat, I just happened to have left over French bread and Brandy sauce.  Suppose I'll have to make this.