Yoga - again

So I've already written about Yoga once.  But alas, I shall do it again.  When I talked about it earlier in the year, February, I think, I was attending a few different places when I could.  The two places are The Yoga room on Brookside and Salt Yoga in Utica Square.  I still really like and support both of those establishments.  However being a pseudo-St. John Employee, I got a membership at the Health Plaza and guess what...now I go to Yoga there.

For me the only downside is still MY limited schedule; work/school/crazy late nights/no free-time.  So really the only class I can go to is still the 0630 class.  But that's ok.  Particularly the 0630 class on Wednesday.  It's very relaxed (dur, it's Yoga) and laid back.  There are normally only 3 of us as well as the instructor.  Her name is Sara.  She is wonderful.  I was a little skeptical at first, quite honestly.  Her voice is not calming or soothing like Tom at TYR or Angyl at Salt.  She doesn't continually remind you to use your yogic breath (in and out thru nose).  But she will make sure you're practicing and doing your poses correctly.  It does me no good to be "bendy" as she calls me, if you're not doing what the pose is trying to accomplish.  So she'll come over to you (me, or the other guys (2 older gentlemen)) and re-position us so that we are more correctly doing our pose. And that, I really appreciate.

It's funny, one of the older gents in our class really likes me being there.  He says I 'inspire' him.  Take that as you may.  Sara always uses me to demonstrate a new pose or how to do a partner-pose.  She knows I'm 'bendy' enough but also (mostly) strong enough to do it.

A few weeks ago we were doing simple bridge.  Now to me, growing up gymnastic-ing, a back bend and a bridge were synonymous.  Lay on your back, feet planted, hand next to your ears, and push up, arching your back and creating an inverted U shape.  So in Yoga a bridge is much simpler than that, but still a great post to learn and do correctly.  I'll put a picture down below.  Anywho, when we do bridge, we always have the option of going into full "Wheel" or back bend, as I'd call it.  SO of course I'll give it a whirl.  Well let me tell you, I'm not near as bendy or strong as I was when I was 13.  Perhaps it's the fact that I don't use many of those muscles that often or that my 32 year old self weighs a touch more than my 13 year old self.  But who's counting. Anywho, I can still do a respectable (inspirational?) back bend.  But Sara wants me to be able to straighten my arms.  Well, my silly shoulders won't allow it.  So we're working on it.

This past Wednesday she taught me a really good way to practice my Wheel and work on those straight arms and shoulder strength   It was brilliant.  I really like that she'll stay over late in class to work with me if there are any certain poses I really want to practice   She loves to help too.  At the and of each class, post-nameste, she offers additional instruction.  Normally I'll take her up on it.  So anywho, to help with my wheel, she had me lay flat on my back and and she stood above my head.  She had me grasp her ankles with my hands and use her body as leverage to straighten up.  It was amazing! I was able to hold the pose longer and extend my shoulders out much more.  I'll tackle that damn thing sooner or later!

Alas, I love yoga. 

Wheel (Above)

Bridge (Below)

Punography (borrowed funny-punnies)

Punography:  

·I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

·When chemists die, they barium.

·Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

·How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

·I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

·This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

·I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

·I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

·They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

·A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

·PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

·Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

·Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

·The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

·The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.

·Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

·When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

·I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·Broken pencils are pointless.

·What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

·England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

·I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

·I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·Velcro - what a rip off!

·Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

·Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

·Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

·I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.    

Diary of a Mad Black Kitty

Just as background info, I wrote this from my kitty, Halo's perspective back in May of 2011.  Just found it and re-read it, pretty funny :)  

Diary of a Mad Black Kitty

By Halo Elisabeth Teaganov the Sooner Cat

Dear Diary,

Today is Tuesday May 24, 2011.  I would like to discuss the events of my day.  First I got up at 6am or shortly before, as I do daily.  I gently roused my parents with a gently lullaby of mews and love pats.  Then 45 minutes later that strange noise making device went off and my father got up.  Why they don’t get up when I try to wake them is beyond me.  Hello, get up when I do!!!  Alas, I’ll continue my daily attempts and check back in with you.  Anywho, the ‘rents were discussing leaving those slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers (the dogs) inside today as there was a chance of storms.  They did. 

So fast-forward to midday and I’m watching Young & the Restless and enjoying a nice lunch of Blue Buffalo lamb crunch.  They keep interrupting my show with weather updates.  AND they blocked half of the dad-gum screen with a weather map.  Um hello, not like ANYONE CARES!! The only ones watching TV right now are housewives, housecats, and jobless folk.  Whatevs…pick your battles, Halo…pick your battles.  So, it would seem that there were actually pretty bad storms brewing and that got be concerned about my home town of Norman and my friends and family there.  (“The SOONER cat” is not coincidence, I was born in Norman.)   I know my Aunt Shelly is a meteorologist, so I’m sure she’s paying attention to the weather.

Fast forward to parents-get-home-from-work-time.  My dad gets home, locks me in the bedroom, and then lets out the slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers so they can run around like the idiots they are.  (Have I mentioned that the one they call “Normandie” tries to eat me at every chance!?  I’ve heard my parents tell stories of how she catches baby rabbits and tortures them.  Yeah, nice choice of companion, Mom and Dad).  Anywho, where was I…dad’s home, I’m locked away, mongrels running in the back yard, right.  Shortly thereafter my mother gets home.  I hear the TV on in the living room.  I hear strange noises as if they are taking items into another room.  I wonder to myself, are they preparing that ‘safe room’ I heard Trav talk about whilst I was trying to watch Y&R?  Guess what, YES. 

Apparently they had stuffed the small bathroom with blankets, sleeping bags, pillows, jackets, a radio and a flash light.  Just add a tent and they could have camped out in there.  So all that stuff is stowed away in the bathroom, mongrels running around, I’m locking away, parents watching the news.   I hafta pee too, btw.  Neither here nor there.  I suppose the weather was getting worrisome because some strange and annoying sound began outside our windows.  I didn’t think much of it, honestly.  I can’t count on both paws how many times I’ve heard those sounds and nothing happens.  Cry wolf much?  BUT this time my parents thought we’d take it seriously as my Aunt Shelly told us to.  LITTLE DID I KNOW that meant putting me in my horrid kitty prison. 

P.S. sometimes I think they think I’m stupid.  Um, I heard the zippers rattle on that prison cage.  So I quickly proceed to scamper under the bed.  As the bed is huge, I thought to myself, even his gargantuan California condor wingspan can’t reach me there.  Even if you try to coerce me with my favorite chasey toy…I know what’s next…DOCTOR.  P.S. again, they found me.  I really need to start brainstorming for a better hideout.  FB me with suggestions.  Ok, so I love my parents, but come on!  A prison cell and a doctor’s appointment when there are storms all over?!?  If I had known what was REALLY next, I would have taken the doctor’s appointment. 

They lock and zip me in, my mom picked up my transportable prison cell and put it over her shoulder.  Then she opened the door and proceeded to the living room.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw those slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers blankly staring out the back door.  Any who did I mention those mongrels were INSIDE?  My mother, who loves me, who feeds me, who holds me, carried me thru the room with naught but this fabric prison cell to protect me for the snarling jaws of puppydom?  Luckily since I stayed silent as a mouse (like the mouse reference, since I’m a cat?), those barking idiots didn’t even know I was being transported.  Honestly, what goes thru their minds, I wonder?  Air? 

After what seemed like an hour, in actually it was more like 15 seconds, I reach my final destination.  Wait for it…the bathroom floor surrounded by and indoor-campground-gone-wrong?  Um did they ASK me if I wanted to be in my unjust prison cell, on the floor, next to the toilet?  That’s not the least of it!  Those furry mongrels only had to have their leashes put on.  Um, mom, dad, HOW exactly is a leash going to protect them from a tornado?  On second thought, leashes are great, keep up the grand ideas… So I’m waiting in the bathroom campsite, all alone, surrounded by pillows and blankets.  Did I mention they had a bike helmet in there?  Um, nice but I ain’t wearin it folks.  BTW, Ma, the sirens stopped a while ago, why am I here?

This scenario lasted for probably an hour, in real time.  I was in the bathroom, alone, dogs on leashes running amuck like always, parents glued to the TV watching the weather.  Did anyone ever come check on me, sit with me?  NO.  They counseled me from afar, ‘hold on, Kitty’ and ‘it’s almost over’ and ‘Halo, its ok’.  Well it was not ok with me.  Cold floor, toilet-side view, prison cell, no company, did I mention toilet?? 

In conclusion, dear diary, I appreciate the effort my parents put into my safety this evening.  As I am writing this after the storms went thru, we are all ok.  Heavy rains, moderate winds, but no hail or damage.  Right after it was all thru, the mongrels went back outside to gather all possible mud and water.  Don’t they know I have to live in this house too!?  And, oh yeah, I WAS HERE FIRST.  A little courtesy would be appreciated, that’s all I ask.

Anywho, it’s about 11:45pm, my mom is giving me the evil get-off-the-computer eye.  Plus, I’ve got to get to bed as I’ll be attempting to wake the ‘rents shortly and in the morning.  I’ll update you if there are any other weather phenomenons that warrant the repeat of this evening of kitty imprisonmental horror.   

PEACE and good night

~Halo