AA - Monday - Saturday - Noon
Five women. Eighteen men. Ranging in age from probably mid-twenties to early-seventies. Some were in suits and ties, some in ragged jeans and t-shirts, while others in workout clothing and tennis shoes. They looked like anyone you’d meet on the Riverside trail, in Starbucks, or at QT. But today, they are comrades. Today they are soldiers fighting the same battle. What do they all have in common? Why are they all under one roof at noon on a Monday? The answer is plain and simple: they are all addicts. They have joined together voluntarily to overcome what has been and probably will be the greatest struggle and the largest hurdle they will ever encounter: themselves and their addictions.
This meeting started probably just as all others have in the past. One gentleman introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Michael, and I’m an alcoholic.” It was just like on TV. The others in attendance acknowledge him, “Hi, Michael, glad you’re here”. Michael goes on to read a sheet about AA, the facility rules, mentions the well-known 12 Step Program, give a few announcements, finally he leads the rest of his captive audience in The Serenity Prayer. The same prayer that coincidentally hangs over my desk at work. After the salutation, the members go around the room, state their name, admit their fault, and are greeted and acknowledged by every single member of their elite club. “Hi, I’m Doug, I’m an addict and an alcoholic”, “Hi, I’m Michelle, I’m an alcoholic”, “Hi, I’m Megan, I’m a nursing student”...and the daughter of an alcoholic.
This was followed by reading a selected chapter in the AA book. Each member would once again say their name, be acknowledged, and read a paragraph or two. After reading they would say a few words of how that passage had been active in their life. Or tell a personal anecdote, or perhaps just say, “I’m happy to be here today”. There was no pressure to speak. It was strictly voluntary.
It was apparent to me that AA as a whole is generally focused on two very important cores: faith and honestly. Without these two integral parts, the system would fail. The famous or infamous 12-Step Program is just that as well, based in faith (in oneself, in each other, in the chance for a new and brighter life, and in a ‘higher power’) and honesty (with oneself, with loved ones, and with their “higher power”).
One man spoke of alcoholism in comparison to other diseases/illnesses. He said something to the effect of “people judge and look down upon the addicts. Yet they pity the cancer patients.” He said, “we did not ask for this illness, we did not wake up one day and decide to addicts.” Honestly for me, this has never been a fair comparison. People with cancer certainly didn’t ask for that either...they did not have one key thing addicts did...a choice. Now, though I understand that addiction is considered a disease, I believe that it begins as a choice. They chose to partake. They chose to over-do it. Perhaps once the addictive personality took over, the choice was taken out of the equation and the illness won over. But that issue has always been a tough one for me to accept.
One gentleman in jeans and a t-shirt said the following, which I believed to be quite profound, “We are here for spiritual progress not spiritual perfection.” I found this particularly powerful. If we (all of us) strive for perfection, we have a much greater chance of being let down/failing and of letting others down. But if we (all of us) strive for progress, each and every day, a small battle is overcome. Another fellow said, “Without you guys, I wouldn’t have a sober day.” This man was Doug. He is now 4 years sober. Michael is 2 year sober. They call sobriety anniversaries ‘birthdays’, and Michael celebrated his 2nd birthday today. They even had a chocolate cake, of which they graciously offered to Amy and me. (I said YES!)
This group clearly knew each other quite well. They meet every day at noon. Every day. While I’m at work, or at lunch, or complaining about not wanting to be in class so late, this group of people, who the world chooses to ignore and sneer at, meet and ensure that today is one more day they won’t take a drink. They feel responsible to each other and to themselves to stay that way. But they realize that everyday will be a struggle. So they show up, every day at noon at 31st and Harvard to say the Serenity Prayer, to admit their deeds, and to ensure that they do not slump back into their old ways. One line from the AA handbook (which looked much like the old leather-bound Baptist Hymnals I’ve seen in my grandmother’s church) mentioned the people who do not pull through; the people who do not take advantage of programs AA offers, “Maybe they could recover if they had the opportunities we have enjoyed.” What’s amazing to me is that these opportunities are out there. They are everywhere. Everyday. Yet some people are so blind to their addiction they do not take advantage of the free help that is out there. Non-judgmentally waiting for them.
Personal Note:
It is very hard for me to understand, it always has been. But reading these past few chapters over mental illness, addiction, addictive personality, I have been able to identify many factors that have lead to where he, where WE, are today. I have been able to understand more reasons why addicts are the way they are. Seeing the different levels of addiction was fascinating. From that, I have also been able to realize that I too have addictive tendencies/personality. Not to a drug or alcohol, I’ve never touched either in my life. But addicts have their ‘drug’ of choice. The addiction is there, the propensity in there. I’ve identified it within myself. It too has been a struggle for me, but I am just now realizing it. Now I know it’s my responsibility to overcome it, for my own sake, but also for the sakes of those that I care for and care for me.
Sorry it’s so long, but thank you for this assignment/opportunity. Truly.
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